“Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. ”
Giving love is the law that applies to everything in your life. And giving love is the law of relationships. The force of love doesn’t care whether you know someone or not, whether a person is a friend or foe, a loved one or a complete stranger. The force of love doesn’t care if you’re encountering a work colleague, boss, parent, child, student, or a person serving you in a store. With every single person you come into contact with, you are either giving love or you’re not. And what you give is what you will receive.
Relationships are your biggest channel to give love, and so you can change your entire life just through the love you give in your relationships. At the same time though, relationships can be your biggest downfall, because they are often your biggest excuse for not giving love! What You Give to Others, You Give to Yourself The most enlightened beings throughout history told us to love others. You were not told to love others just so that you would be a nice person. You were being given the secret to life! You were being given the law of attraction’ When you love others, you will have an amazing life. When you love others, you will receive the life you deserve.
“The entire law is summed up in a single command Love your neighbor as yourself”
Give love to others through kindness, encouragement, support, gratitude, or any good feeling, and it comes back to you and multiplies itself, bringing love to every other area of your life, including your health, money, happiness, and career. Give negativity to others, through criticism, anger,
impatience, or any bad feeling, and you will receive that negativity back – guaranteed! And as the negativity comes back, it multiplies itself, attracting more negativity, which affects the rest of your life.
It’s Not About the Other Person
You can tell in your relationships right now what you’ve been giving. If a current relationship is great, it means you are giving more love and gratitude than negativity If a current relationship is difficult or challenging, it means you are inadvertently giving more negativity than love.
Some people think a relationship is either good or bad because of the other person, but life doesn’t happen that way.
You can’t say to the force of love, “I will give love only when the other person gives it to me!” You can’t receive anything in life unless you give it first! Whatever you give, you receive, so it’s not about the other person at all: it’s all about you! It’s all about what you are giving and what you are feeling. You can change any relationship right now by looking for the things you love, appreciate, and are grateful for in that person. When you make a deliberate effort to look for the things you love more than you notice negative things, a miracle will take place. It will appear to you as though something incredible has happened to the other person. But it’s the force of love that is incredible, because it dissolves negativity, including negativity in relationships.
All you have to do is harness the force of love by looking for the things you love in the person, and everything will change in the relationship! I know of hundreds of relationships that have been restored through the power of love, but one particular story of a woman who used love’s power to restore her crumbling marriage stands out from the others, because this woman had lost all love for her husband. In fact , she couldn’t bear to be near him. Her husband complained every day. He was sick all the time. He was depressed and angry, and verbally abusive to her and their four children.
When the woman learned about the power of giving love, she decided right away to feel happier despite the problems in her marriage. Immediately the atmosphere in their home became lighter, and the woman’s relationships with her children got better. She then went through her photo albums, looking at the photos of her husband when they first married. She took some of the photos and put them on her desk to look at them every day, and by her doing this, something amazing happened. She felt the love she had first felt for her husband, and as she felt the love return , her feelings of love began to increase dramatically inside her. She reached a point where she loved her husband more than she ever had in her life. Her love became so great that her husband’s depression and anger disappeared, and his health began to return. This woman went fro m wanting to be as far away as possible from her husband to a marriage where they want to be with each other as much as possible.
Love Means Freedom
Now here is the tricky bit with giving love in relationships, and it’s the one thing that has prevented many from receiving the life they deserve. It’s only tricky because people have misunderstood what it means to give love to others. To be very clear about what it means to give love to others, you need to understand what it means not to give love to others. Trying to change another person is not giving love! Thinking you know what is best for another person is not giving love! Thinking you are right and another person is wrong is not giving love! Criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, or finding fault with another person is not giving love!
“Hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by love. This is a law eternal.”
I want to share a story I received that demonstrates the care we must take in our relationships. A man’s wife had left him and had taken their children with her. The man was devastated, he blamed his wife, and he refused to accept her decision. He continued to contact her, determined to do everything he could to change her mind. He may have thought he was acting out of love for his wife and family, but his actions were not loving. He blamed his wife for their marriage ending. He believed that she was wrong and he was right. He refused to accept his wife’s decision to choose for! herself. Because he would not stop contacting his wife, he was arrested and sentenced to jail.
The man eventually realized that he was not giving love when he denied his wife her freedom to choose what she wanted, and that he lost his freedom as a result. The law of attraction is the law of love and you cannot break it. If you violate it, you break yourself. I am sharing this story because the ending of intimate relationships is very challenging for some people. You cannot deny someone else’s right to choose what they want, because
that is not giving love. It is a bitter pill to swallow when your heart is breaking, but you must respect everyone’s freedom and right to choose. What you give to another person you receive yourself, and when you deny another person’s freedom to choose, you will attract negative things that deny your own freedom . Maybe the flow of money to you decreases, or your health weakens, or your job takes a downturn, because all of these things would affect your freedom. There is no “other person” for the law of attraction. What you give out to others, you give to yourself.
Giving love to other people does not mean you let people walk all over you or abuse you in any way, because that’s not giving love either. Allowing another person to use you doesn’t help that person, and it surely doesn’t help you. Love is tough, and we learn and grow through its law, and as part of that learning we experience consequences. So it is not love to allow another person to use or abuse you. The answer is, get yourself onto the highest frequency of good feelings that you can, and the force of love will resolve the situation for you.
“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.”
The Secret to Relationships
Life presents everything to you so that you can choose what you love. And part of the gift of life is that you are given all kinds of people, so you can choose what you love in those people and turn away from what you don’t love. You are not meant to manufacture love for qualities in a person you don’t love, but simply to turn away without giving them any feeling.
Turning away from what you don’t love in someone means you’re relaxed about it, and you know life is giving you a choice. It doesn’t mean that you argue with them to prove they’re wrong or you criticize or blame them, or that you want to change them because you think you’re right. Because if you do any of these things, you are not giving love – big time!
“Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.”
When you are on a feeling frequency of love, then only people who are on the same feeling frequency as you are can come into your life. You know some days you feel really happy, some days you feel irritated, and others you feel sad. You can be many different versions of yourself. A person in a relationship with you can also be many versions, including happy, irritated, or sad. No doubt you will have seen them being many different versions, but every version is still that person. When you’re happy, then only the happy version of other people can come into your life. But you have to be happy to receive the happy versions of other people! It doesn’t mean you are responsible for other people’s happiness, because everyone is responsible for their own lives and happiness. What it means is there’s nothing else for you to do but to feel happy yourself, and the law of attraction will do the rest.
“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”
One way to take the sting out of confrontational or difficult relationships is to imagine people as your own ”Personal Emotional Trainers”! The force of love presents you with a whole array of Personal Emotional Trainers, disguised as everyday people, but they are all training you to choose love!
Some people may be soft Personal Emotional Trainers because they don’t push you very hard and they’re so easy to love. Some people may be tough Personal Emotional Trainers because they push you to your limits, as some personal physical trainers do, but they are the ones who are making you stronger to choose love no matter what. Personal Emotional Trainers can use all kinds of situations and tactics to challenge you, but the thing to remember is that every challenge is presented so you will choose love and turn away from negativity and blame. Some trainers may challenge you to judge them or others, but don’t fall for that trap. Judgment is negative and it’s not giving love, so if you can’t love the good in someone or something, simply turn away. Some trainers may test you by provoking you to feel revenge, anger, or hatred. Turn away by looking for the things you love in life. Some trainers may even hit you with guilt, feelings of unworthiness, or fear. Don’t fall for any of them, because negativity of any kind is not love.
“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
If you imagine the people in your life as your Personal Emotional Trainers, it will help you with any difficult relationships. It’s the tough trainers who make you stronger and determined to choose love no matter what, but they’re also giving you a message. They’re telling you that you’ve gotten yourself onto a negative feeling frequency – and you need to feel better to move off it! No one can come into your life and affect you negatively, unless you are already on the same negative feeling frequency. If you’re on a feeling frequency of love, it won’t matter how tough or negative someone is, they will not and cannot affect you! Each person is just doing their job, just as you are doing your job of being a Personal Emotional Trainer to others. There are no enemies, there are only some great PETs, and some tough PETs who are making you great.
The Law of Attraction Is a Sticky Business
The law of attraction is a sticky business. When you rejoice in another person’s good fortune, their good fortune sticks to you! When you admire or appreciate anything about another person, you’re sticking those qualities to yourself. But when you think or discuss negative things about someone else, you’re sticking those negative things to you too, and you’re putting them into your own life. The law of attraction is responding to your feelings. Whatever you give, you receive, and so if you stick a label on any person, circumstance, or event in life, you are sticking the label on you, and that’s what you will receive. Now this is fantastic news, because it means you can stick everything you love and want to you by looking for the things you love in other people, and saying yes to them It with all of your heart! The world is your catalogue, and when “ you understand the power of your love, it is a full-time job noticing everything you love in other people. But it’s the easiest and best way to change your whole life. It beats struggle and suffering. All you have to do is notice the things you love in other people, and turn away from the things you . don’t so you don’t give them any feeling. How easy is that?
“Taking the first footstep with a good thought, the second with a good word, and the third with a good deed, I entered Paradise.”
Gossip Is Sticky Too
Gossip seems harmless on the surface, but it can cause a lot of negative things in people’s lives. Gossip is not giving love. Gossip is giving negativity and that’s exactly what you receive back. Gossip is not harmful to the person who is being spoken of; gossip harms those gossiping! When you are talking with a family member or a friend, and they tell you about some negative thing that someone said or did they are gossiping and they are giving out negativity. As you listen to them, you are giving out negativity too because you are a feeling being, and you can’t hear negative things without your feelings dropping rapidly. When you talk with a work colleague at lunch, and you both talk negatively about someone, you are gossiping and you are giving out negativity. You can’t talk about or hear negativity and have good feelings! So to put it frankly, we need to be mindful of not sticking our nose in other people’s business, because their business will get stuck on our nose! Unless you want it in your life, turn away from it without feeling anything. You’ll not only be doing yourself a favor, but you’ll also be doing the other people a favor who don’t realize the negative effect gossip can have on their lives. If you find yourself gossiping or listening to gossip, stop mid sentence and say, “But I am so grateful that … ” and finish the sentence with something good about the person being gossiped about.
“If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
Your Reaction Chooses It
Life is presenting every person and circumstance to you so you can choose what you love and what you don’t love. When you react to anything, you are reacting with your feelings, and as you do, you are choosing it! Your reaction, whether good or bad, sticks it to you, and in effect, you are saying you want more of it! And so it’s important to watch how you react in your relationships, because whether you react with good or bad feelings, they’re the feelings you’re giving, and you will receive more of the same circumstances to make you feel that way.
If a person says or does something, and you find yourself feeling upset, offended, or angry, do your best to change the negative reaction right away. Simply being aware that you’ve reacted negatively takes the power out of the negative feelings immediately and can even stop them. But if you feel as though the negative feelings have a grip on you, it is best to walk away and spend a couple of minutes looking for the things you love, one after the other until you feel much better. You can use anything you love to make you feel better, like listening to your favorite music, imagining the things you love, or doing something you love. You can also think about the things you love in the person who upset you. This might be challenging, but if you can do it, it is the fastest way to feel better. It’s also the fastest way to become the master of your feelings!
“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
You can change any negative situation in your life, but you ! can’t change it with bad feelings. You have to react differently to the situation because if you keep reacting negatively, your bad feelings will magnify and multiply the negativity. When you give good feelings, the positivity magnifies, and multiplies. Even if you can’t imagine how a particular situation can change into something positive – it can! The force of love always finds a way.
Love Is a Shield
To take the power out of other people’s negativity and not be affected by it, remember the magnetic fields of feelings surrounding each person. There’s a field of love, joy, happiness, gratitude, excitement, passion, and a field for every good feeling. There’s also a field of anger, discouragement, frustration, hate, desire for revenge, fear, and a field for every negative feeling. A person surrounded by a magnetic field of anger doesn’t feel good at all, and so if you come into their presence, they
will most likely direct their anger at you. They don’t mean to harm you, but they can’t see anything good when they’re looking at the world through their field of anger. All they can see are things that anger them. And because they can only see anger, they are likely to get angry and hurl anger at the first person they see – often a loved one. Does this situation sound familiar? If you’re feeling fantastic, the force of your magnetic field creates a shield that no negativity can penetrate. And so it won’t matter what negativity anyone hurls at you, it cannot touch you, and it will bounce right off your feeling field without affecting you at all.
On the other hand, if a person hurls something negative at you and you feel what they say, then you know that your feelings must have dropped, because the negativity broke through your feeling field. There’s only one thing to do if this happens, and that is to find an excuse to politely walk away, so you can restore yourself with good feelings. Two negative fields multiply at a rapid rate when they come into contact with each other, and no good can ever come of it. You will know this from your own life experience; two negative fields together are not a pretty sight!
“Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.”
If you are feeling sad, disappointed, frustrated, or any negative feeling, then you are looking at the world through that feeling field, and the world will look sad, disappointing, or frustrating to you. You cannot see anything good through a field of bad feelings . Not only is your negative field attracting more negativity to itself, but you will never see your way out of any problem until you change the way you feel. Changing the way you feel is easy compared to running around trying to change the circumstances of the outside world. All the physical action in the world cannot change the situation. Change your feelings and the outside circumstances will change!
“The power is from within, but we cannot receive it unless we give it.”
When someone is surrounded by a magnetic field of joy, you can feel their joy touch you from across the room. People who are popular and who have magnetic personalities are simply people who feel good most of the time. The field of joy that surrounds them is so magnetic that it draws everybody and everything to them. The more you give love and feel good, the more magnetic your field becomes and the more it expands, drawing everything and everyone you love to you! Imagine that!
The Power That Connects Everything
“When all the people in the world love one another, then the strong will not overpower the weak, the many will not oppress the few, the wealthy will not mock the poor, the honored will not disdain the humble, and the cunning will not deceive the simple.”
You have opportunities every day to give love to other people through your good feelings. When you feel happy, it is your guarantee that you will be giving positivity and love to whomever you come into contact with. When you give love to anyone, the love will return to you, but in a far greater way than you may have realized.
When you give love to another person, if your love affects the other person so positively that they then give love to someone else, then no matter how many people are positively affected, no matter how far your love travels, all that love comes back to you. Not only do you receive back the love you gave to the original person, you receive all the love back from everyone who was affected And the love returns to you dressed as positive circumstances, positive people, and positive events in your life.
On the other hand, if negatively affect another person ,so much that the person goes on to negatively affect someone ” else, then the negativity will return to you in full. You will receive it back in the form of negative circumstances affecting money, your career, your health, or your relationships. Whatever you give to another, you give to yourself.
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
When you are feeling enthusiastic, happy, and cheerful, those good feelings affect everyone you come into contact with. Even if you connect with a person just briefly in a store, on a bus, or in an elevator, when your good feelings make a difference to any person you connect with, the affect of that , one instance on your life is almost incomprehensible.
“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
Love is the solution and the answer to every relationship. You can never improve a relationship with negativity. Use the Creation Process for your relationships, and give love to receive. Use the Keys to Power for your relationships. Notice the things you love, make lists of the things you love, talk about the things you love, and turn away from the things you don’t love. Imagine having the perfect relationship, imagine it at the highest level you can, and feel having it with all your heart. If you find it difficult to feel good about a relationship, then love everything else around you, and just stop noticing the negative things in the relationship! Love can do anything for you! All you have to do is give love by feeling good, and any negativity in your relationships will fade away. Whenever you are faced with a negative situation in a relationship, the solution is always love! You won’t know how it will be solved, and you can never know how, but if you maintain feeling good and give love, it will happen. The message from Lao Tzu, Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, and every great being is loud and clear – love!
POINTS OF POWER
• With every single person you come into contact, you are either giving love or you’re not. And based on what you give, that is what you receive.
• Give love to others through kindness, encouragement, support, gratitude, or any good feeling, and it comes back to you multiplied in every area of your life.
• Look for the things you love in a relationship more than you notice negative things and it will appear as if something incredible has happened to the other person.
• Trying to change another person, thinking YOll know what is best for another person, thinking you are right and another person is wrong is not giving love’
• Criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, or findingfoult with another person is not giving love!
• Yoll have to be happy to receive the happy versions of other people!
• The force of love presents you with a whole array of Personal Emotional Trainers, disguised as everyday people, but they are all training you to choose love’
• You can stick everything you love and want to you by looking for the things you love in other people, and saying yes to those qualities with all of your heart!
• You can’t talk about or hear negativity and have good feelings!
• Life is presenting every person and circumstance to you so you can choose what you love and what you don’t love. When you react to anything, you are reacting with your feelings, and as you do, you are choosing it!
• You can’t change a negative situation with bad feelings. If you keep reacting negatively, your bad feelings will magnify and multiply the negativity.
• If you’re feeling fantastic, the force of your magnetic field creates a shield that no negativity can penetrate.
• Changing the way you feel is easy compared to running around trying to change the circumstances of the outside world. Change your feelings and the outside circumstances will change!
• The more you give love and feel good, the more magnetic your field becomes and the more it expands, drawing everything and everyone
you love to you!
References : The Power by Rhonda byrne