Imagine if you were the only person on Earth; you would have no desire to do anything. What would be the point in creating a painting if no one could see it? What would be the point in composing music if no one could hear it? What would be the point in inventing anything if there was no one to use it? There would be no reason to move from one place to another because wherever you went would be the same as where you were – no one would be there. There would be no pleasure or joy in your life.
It’s your contact and experiences with other people that give your life joy, meaning, and purpose. Because of that, your relationships affect your life more than anything else. To receive the life of your dreams, it’s vital that you understand how your relationships affect your life now, and how they are the most powerful channels for gratitude to start
magically changing your life. Science is now confirming the wisdom of the great sages of the past, with research studies showing that people who practice gratitude have closer relationships, are more connected to family and friends, and have other people look upon them favorably. But probably the most astounding statistic that has come out of research studies is that for every one complaint about another person, whether in thought or word, there have to be ten blessings for the relationship to flourish. Any less than ten blessings for every one complaint and the relationship will deteriorate, and, if the relationship is a marriage, it will most likely end in divorce.
Gratitude makes relationships flourish. As you increase your gratitude for any relationship, you will magically receive an abundance of happiness and good things in that relationship. And gratitude for your relationships doesn’t change only your relationships; it also changes you. No matter what your temperament is now, gratitude will give you more patience, understanding, compassion, and kindness, to the point where you won’t even recognize yourself. The little irritations you once felt and the complaints you had in your relationships will disappear, because when you’re truly grateful for another person, there’s nothing you want to change about that person. You won’t criticize, complain about, or blame them, because you’re too busy being grateful for the good things about them. In fact, you won’t even be able to see the things you used to complain about.
Words are very powerful, so when you complain about any person you actually harm your life. It is your life that will suffer. By the law of attraction whatever you think or say about another person, you bring to you. This is the very reason why the greatest minds and teachers of the world have told us to be grateful. They knew that for you to receive more in your life, for your life to magically increase, you have to be grateful for others just as they are. What if every person close to you said, “I love you – just the way you are,” how would you feel?
Today’s magical practice is being grateful for people just as they are! Even if all of your relationships are currently good, they will increase with more magnificence through this practice. And with everything you find to be grateful for in each person, you will see gratitude perform its breathtaking magic, and your relationships will be stronger, more fulfilling, and more enriching than you ever thought they could be. Choose three of your closest relationships to be grateful for. You might choose your wife, your son, and your father, or your boyfriend, your business partner, and your sister. You might choose your best friend, your grandmother, and your uncle. You can choose any three relationships that are important to you, as long as you have a photograph of each person. The photograph can be just of the person, or the both of you together. Once you have selected your three relationships and photographs, you are ready to set the magic into motion. Sit down and think about the things you are the most grateful for about each person. What are the things you love the most about this person?
What are their best qualities? You could be grateful for their patience, ability to listen, talents, strength, good judgment, wisdom, laugh, sense of humor, eyes, smile, or kind heart. You could be grateful for the things you enjoy doing with the person, or you can recall a time when the person was there for you, cared for, or supported you. After you’ve spent some time thinking about what you’re grateful for about the person, put their photograph in front of you, and with a pen and notebook, or on your computer, choose the five things you are the most grateful for. Look at the photograph of the person as you make your list of five things, begin each sentence with the magic words, thank you, address the person by their name, and then write what you’re grateful for.
For example, “Thank you, John, for always making me laugh.” Or, “Thank you, Mom, for supporting me through college.” When you’ve finished your lists for all three people, continue with this magical practice by taking the photographs with you today and putting them in a place where you will see them often. Whenever you look at the photographs today, thank the person by saying the magic words, thank you, and the person’s name: Thank you, Hayley.
If you’re moving around a lot, carry the photographs with you in your bag or pocket, and make an effort to look at the photographs three times during the day, following the same procedure. Now you know how to use gratitude’s magical power to transform your relationships into Magical Relationships. Although it is not part of the requirement of this book, you may want to take this amazing practice and use it every day if necessary to make every relationship you have magnificent. You can use it on the same relationship as many times as you want. The more you can be grateful for the good things in your relationships, the faster every relationship in your life will miraculously change.
Magically Heal Your Relationships
If you have a difficult or broken relationship, are suffering from a broken heart, or hold any resentment or blame toward another person for anything, you can change it through gratitude. Gratitude will magically improve any difficult relationship, whether that person is a husband or wife, brother or sister, son or daughter, partner, boss, business client, work colleague, mother- or father-in-law, parent, friend, or neighbor.
When we are faced with a difficult relationship or a challenging situation in a relationship, in almost all cases, we’re not in the least bit grateful for the other person. Instead, we’re busy blaming the other person for the problems we have with them, and that means we don’t have a shred of gratitude. Blame is never going to make a relationship better, and it’s never going to make your life better. In fact, the more you blame, the worse the relationship gets, and the worse your life gets. Whether it’s a current relationship or a past relationship, if you harbor bad feelings toward another person, practicing gratitude will eliminate those feelings. Why would you want to remove your bad feelings about another person?
Bad feelings about another person burn your life, but gratitude will eliminate them!
For example, if you have an ex-partner who is connected to you through your children, and the relationship isn’t good, look at your children’s faces and realize that they wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for your ex-partner. Your children’s lives are one of the most precious gifts you have. Look at your children, and give thanks to your ex-partner for their lives every single day! As well as bringing peace and harmony to the relationship, through your example you will be teaching your children the greatest tool for their life – gratitude. Or, if you’re suffering from a broken heart or grief due to a relationship having ended, you can use gratitude’s magical power to transform your pain. Gratitude magically transforms emotional pain into healing and happiness faster than anything else, and the story of my parents is a perfect example of that.
My mother and father fell in love with each other virtually at first sight. From the moment they met, they were truly grateful to be with each other, and they had the most beautiful marriage I have ever seen. When my father died, my mother understandably suffered from enormous grief. After months of suffering, she began to use gratitude’s magical power, and despite her immense grief and pain, she looked for things to be grateful for. She began with the past, and she recalled all the wonderful times of happiness she had received through the decades with my father. Then she took the next big step, and she looked for things to be grateful for in the future. One by one she found them. She found or remembered things she had always wanted to do but didn’t have time to do when my father was alive. And with this courageous step of gratitude, opportunities to fulfill her dreams magically poured in, and her life became rich with happiness again. The magical power of gratitude gave my mother a new life. For today’s magical practice you are going to look for a hot coal that is burning your life, and literally turn it into gold through gratitude! Choose one difficult, problematic, or broken relationship that you want to improve. It doesn’t matter whether the person is currently in your life, or if it’s a past relationship and the person is no longer in your life.
Sit down and make a written list of ten things you’re grateful for about the person you’ve chosen. Think back through the history of the relationship, and list the great things about the person or the great things you received from the relationship. The easiest way to do this is to think back to the way things were before the relationship deteriorated or ended. If the relationship was never good, then think hard about any good qualities in the person because they are there. This magical practice is not about who is right or wrong. No matter what you feel someone has done to you, no matter what someone said or didn’t do, you can magically heal the relationship, and you don’t need the other person in order to heal it. There is gold in every relationship, even the difficult ones, and to bring riches to all your relationships and your life, you have to find the gold. As you dig and discover a nugget of gold, write it down, address the person by name, and express your sentence in gratitude.
By the time you’ve finished your gratitude list of ten things, you should feel much better about the person and the relationship. The ultimate point you want to reach is where you don’t have any bad feelings toward the person anymore, because it’s your life that is harmed by those feelings. Every relationship is different, and if need be, you may choose to repeat this magical practice over several days until you reach the point where you don’t have any bad feelings toward the person anymore.
If you are using gratitude’s magical power to improve a current relationship, you will see the relationship begin to change miraculously before your eyes. It only takes one person to magically change a relationship through gratitude, but it is the person who uses gratitude who receives the benefits in their whole life.
If you chose a past relationship, where you are not in contact with the person anymore, you will feel a peace and happiness fill you, and at the same time you will see other current relationships in your life magically improve. In the future, if a relationship becomes challenging, remember to use this magical practice immediately. You will stop the difficulties before they get any bigger, and instead you will increase the magic in the relationship!